shutter to think

I've moved...

I'll admit that Brazil wasn't on my top list of countries to begin new work in...in fact, I was pretty much set to return to Guatemala. I felt that there was more to do with my project on the affects of violence in the country and the past civil war. I still do believe that I need to go back to continue working. Yet, sometimes life just throws these amazing curveballs and somehow it was decided that Brazil is where I'll dedicate the next year or so of my life to working on personal projects and assignments. AND many, many thanks to my colleagues for expediting my journo visa!!! Ive left my comfortable life and friends, my guy George and our dog Reese, in Ocean Beach, San Francisco, put my things in storage and packed two suitcases, my surfboards, camera gear and a computer for a Cidade Maravilhosa, Rio de Janeiro. 

Someone help me out with a title for this crazy move.

Ive travelled all of my life since I was a kid. Running to the gate with my family (we were always late) and flying stand-by (since my father worked for an airline), we had the luxury to do a lot of flying and hoteling. Its become second nature (although since 911 its not so fun anymore with obnoxious TSA restrictions). Ive spent many, many months in Mexico, Guatemala, Cambodia and Indonesia. Yet its quite strange to arrive in a foreign country for the first time with no immediate return date. But the motions are the same: find accommodation, find good places to eat, find transportation, get a sim card. I signed up for a language school, although at this point in my life, learning a new language is like learning how to do biophysics. My dear 23-year-old American roommate speaks nearly fluent and fast as if she was born with it in the four months she's been here. One day this year I hope to achieve that but at the very least soon discover when I'm suppose to say "sh" with every word that has "s".

Everyone asks me why. Why Brazil. Honestly, the main reason why is because I've never done it. I've never lived abroad. I should have done it in my 20s but didn't. And now I'm doing it and its incredibly surreal.

Meanwhile, I'll eventually get use to the fast beach breaks, this Miami beach lifestyle, the shhhes, and finding my way through Rio from all the stories that I can't wait to explore and then some. Stay tuned.

archive: assemblyline of things to do

My head often feels like this line of servers heading out to serve the first course of dinner. Each server is a thing to do, some project, some updating, some email, the constant hours i spend in front of this computer trying to make things happen. I'm currently in the process of updating my travel gallery, trying to select images that say, "I want to be there". Only, at the moment, there are so many places that I'd rather be then in the "dojo" (its our office that my boyfriend built) catching up. I haven't even decorated or really unpack all the boxes! (help!!). I'm finally getting around to uploading my stock images, yay, and collecting model releases, as well as marketing both of my businesses, all the things I neglect when I'm busy shooting assignments or traveling. or, playing with my dog. Yes, he approaches my desk with only one thing in mind, a treat. And thats my reminder, that is time for dinner....

This photograph was taken at the Napa Valley Auction, which raises over a million dollars each year for non-profit organizations in the valley. I miss photographing this event. Its quick, its fun, there's things happening all around, auctioneers that wear cowboy hats, and most importantly, there's food.

Outtakes

from a recent assignment at a residential care home. but though i was photographing another subject for the story, I notice these little tender moments around me. I know that the moments are fairly similar, and photographed similarly as well. i had review of my work with picture editor Mike Davis and we discussed some things regarding my shooting style and what i naturally tend to see. part of my growth as i embark on another trip back to Cambodia this weekend, is to focus on seeing in a new way, seeing whats happening in other parts of the frame, and capturing those decisive moments.

 

My $40 dollar lesson

Sometimes its a hard knock life for freelance photographers: an over-saturated market with photographers, small budgets, less publication space, selective audiences, etc. etc. etc. Since I've been laid off from my newspaper job, I've done fairly well in trying to grasp the business and maintain some work to get me by. I've learned to diversify my photography by breaking into stock and lifestyle photography and weddings, with all the while still shooting photojournalism. And with a little help from friends, I photograph their family portraits. Here are three scenarios that i take as one to grow on in my first official year in the freelance business.

1) I recently had a commercial job that i got via a friend (thank you alli) who called me up to see if i was available. I took the job, no contract, all negotiations over the phone, i sent an estimate for approval, i mean, it was a situation that was pretty much set in stone verbally.  I sent in the final estimate, I shot the job, and mailed the images and invoice. My contract was the invoice which had our terms that we negotiated over the phone and that was that. Granted, it was friend who hired me, but still, it was bigger then editorial paid job.

2) For the past several months I had been waiting on payment from a client for two editorial jobs. I still await one more payment. The contract terms was vague. I gave the agency the benefit of the doubt that I would be paid on time. However, what I failed to do, was question their payment timeline. That even though they have a contract, I still need to work with each client with my contract needs, and that includes being paid within a reasonable time frame.

3) Over the summer, I received a phone call from a local wedding photographer who wanted to know if i would be interested in being a contract shooter for their business...on their terms. I was fine with the shooting rate, though less then I would normally charge, and our agreements for shooting and editing fees were made in person during our initial meeting and over the phone. However things got complicated when I sent my invoice in and they were certain i had agreed to a rate via email. Now, this job was significantly less, not only was its less in terms of rates, but the difference in payment between us was $40. Now, I made no such agreement, but this was a very small job that ironically I should put all verbal agreements into the contract prior to working on a job with them. I regret that I didn't do that. But I take it as a $40 dollar lesson, that no matter how small or big a job is, their terms or mine, a contract is everything; it guarantees specific agreements and payments.  (Or at least it should).

mommas & babies

Last tuesday I was laid off my newspaper job -- not a sudden change in life plans, however just shy of expecting it, just not so soon, i had been preparing for the...unexpected. I began shooting my friends and small shooting gigs on the lifestyle side of my journalism. Thanks to my many pregnant momma friends, I have been able to slowly build a small maternity & baby portfolio. And, I continue to build my wedding portfolio however now, it will become my main income to support my photojournalism ambitions, because ultimately, I love doing journalism, and miss it very much. This spring I'll be making a two month trip to Mexico for a bridal shower in San Miguel de Allende,  a trip to Haiti to work on a story about hiv positive mothers who volunteer their time to educate and care for other hiv positive mothers in port-au-prince, and then later in may to help shoot a couple of weddings. The slow death of newspapers has made me think about diversifying my photography, and it has been a fun exploration, as photography is, a life-long journey.

My best friend:

Happy Fabulous Year!

Wishing everyone a great new year. I know the economy has been really hard on a lot of people, myself included as I embark on a new path with my photography. Be strong and don't let them bring you down! This is a time that we need to support & motivate each other, a time that we can come together as a community.

Speaking of which, I have lowered my rates (yes, its a pay cut) to accommodate those who are trying to afford such fun, luxury items like photography. I want my photography to be obtainable and affordable for you as well. My wedding, family, baby/kiddie & maternity rates will not change until the summer so if you book now you will save! I may be open to some sort of trade but that depends on what it is. Half of my rates go to directly to my photojournalism projects for this spring and summer.

And if you are feeling blue, turn on some tunes, and boogie your heart away. A little peace of mind.

goggles

yeeoow! So my friend and mentor keith jenkins posted my blog on facebook and I thought, dang I better spice up my blog. Aside from the usual picture posting, I do on occasion hold random discussions with myself, and in some instances, I somehow manage to loose the page like I did last night on my rant about the RNC protestors, and media for that matter, NOT wearing burning man goggles to protect their eyes against the sting of pepper spray. When looking at pictures from my friend Miss Chris's facebook page, I noticed the color coordination with goggles and wildly bizarre outfits that sort of fits this aurora of burning man meets...what the heck is that movie (i'm SO bad with actor names and movies)...you know the one made in the 80s sci-fi...ah! a colorful road warrior/mad max movie...without the leather and bondage gear. Anyway, I am deeply disturbed by St. Paul police dept's blatant disregard for the First Amendment, in particular, our freedom of press. Journalists should not be arrested for reporting the news on public streets. But really, if journalists gear up for war, then, why not gear up for a RNC demonstration with a helmet, goggles, football padding, and shin guards so that you don't get beat up by the police who don't care if you are a journalist. Not even in Latin America where demonstrations happen more often then in San Francisco do journalists get arrested for covering a protest! burning man goggles!

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Last week I photographed an assignment of a high school teacher receiving an award for Teacher of the Year. Slightly worried that it might be a worst case scenario -- teacher receive plaque on stage, shake hands, speech and eat cake, I was sweetly surprised with the spontenaity of students. Not only was the teacher in tears at the podium for receiving his award, but his choir students surprised him with a song. But the best part about the surprise was the group hug at the end, where over 30 students surrounded him.

aw! thank gawd for group hugs!!

so it went

5 months of editing, organizing, learning final cut pro and digital editing, toning, more editing, audio narrating, writing, recording voice-overs, and still more editing and rearranging, the project came, sunday and monday - and - went. rather quietly. not one reporter or photographer made any comment about the completed project. Or what they liked or even learned, or disliked. The only thing that was expected were the negatives responses from mant members of the community. There were postings such as, "why don't they spend that money here," (which they do btw like everyone else) and "cheap advertising for some of the wineries," one wrote. This one didn't even make sense: Cuba is just like Mexico, referring to sending money home. Well, let me tell you: No, Cuba is not like Mexico. Cuban-Americans from Miami cannot sent money to family Cuba. And money spent in Mexico is also spent here, and even at the local churches. They are citizens. They are homeowners and college graduates who have children playing sports or on the cheerleading squad with your children. In fact, you might be drinking their wine or have spoken english to them. I'm beside myself --  do these bloggers even read a national newspaper? Have they ever left Napa to visit the outside world? the story of the immigrant is as old as this country.

why do i read those stupid comments that ultimately make me sick in the stomach knowing that Americans, the people in this community that I cover for the newspaper, really do think that way, hiding behind a screen name. I feel like I havent' done my job well enough if they still think that the majority of Mexicans living in the Napa Valley are illegal. In fact, the migrants are a minority. The story is about Mexican-American immigrants giving back to their hometowns. I don't know one single ethnic that does this. My mother and her family purchased a mausolem for our ancestors in China. But they didnt' contribute to building a plaza or reconstructing an old church. This level of grassroot support really is about family bonding and staying connected despite the miles apart.

for me, this was by far the most liberating project I've done for a newspaper. I, for once, was a journalist. And I did it against the odds of a budget, or lack thereof, or knowing how to do multimedia, yet somehow I discovered the vision while crafting these videos from scratch, all the while still shooting assignments, maybe not everyday, but enough. I got over my reluctance of shooting video and had fun; same with the neck cramps, puffy eyes, low confidence about will this ever work, is it interesting, does it look professional, the grief from my boyfriend for spending Christmas without him, missing the holidays and my family, and the why can't i write a storyline to get me started!!!

My brother called me today to wish me a happy birthday. its my 32nd. And he gave me the greatest compliment that assured me that what I did was good. He got it. He heard it. He read it. he said that it was like NPR. Now THAT is cool.

goodnite!!